Eloisa to Abelard
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 1 In these deep solitudes and awful cells,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 2 Where heav’nly-pensive contemplation dwells,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 3 And ever-musing melancholy reigns;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 4 What means this tumult in a vestal’s veins?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 5 Why rove my thoughts beyond this last retreat?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 6 Why feels my heart its long-forgotten heat?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 7 Yet, yet I love!–From Abelard it came,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 8 And Eloisa yet must kiss the name.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 9 Dear fatal name! rest ever unreveal’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 10 Nor pass these lips in holy silence seal’d.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 11 Hide it, my heart, within that close disguise,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 12 Where mix’d with God’s, his lov’d idea lies:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 13 O write it not, my hand–the name appears
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 14 Already written–wash it out, my tears!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 15 In vain lost Eloisa weeps and prays,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 16 Her heart still dictates, and her hand obeys.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 17 Relentless walls! whose darksome round contains
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 18 Repentant sighs, and voluntary pains:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 19 Ye rugged rocks! which holy knees have worn;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 20 Ye grots and caverns shagg’d with horrid thorn!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 21 Shrines! where their vigils pale-ey’d virgins keep,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 22 And pitying saints, whose statues learn to weep!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 23 Though cold like you, unmov’d, and silent grown,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 24 I have not yet forgot myself to stone.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 25 All is not Heav’n’s while Abelard has part,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 26 Still rebel nature holds out half my heart;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 27 Nor pray’rs nor fasts its stubborn pulse restrain,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 28 Nor tears, for ages, taught to flow in vain.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 29¬¬¬¬¬¬Soon as thy letters trembling I unclose,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 30 That well-known name awakens all my woes.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 31 Oh name for ever sad! for ever dear!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 32 Still breath’d in sighs, still usher’d with a tear.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 33 I tremble too, where’er my own I find,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 34 Some dire misfortune follows close behind.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 35 Line after line my gushing eyes o’erflow,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 36 Led through a sad variety of woe:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 37 Now warm in love, now with’ring in thy bloom,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 38 Lost in a convent’s solitary gloom!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 39 There stern religion quench’d th’ unwilling flame,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 40 There died the best of passions, love and fame.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 41¬¬¬¬¬¬Yet write, oh write me all, that I may join
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 42 Griefs to thy griefs, and echo sighs to thine.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 43 Nor foes nor fortune take this pow’r away;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 44 And is my Abelard less kind than they?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 45 Tears still are mine, and those I need not spare,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 46 Love but demands what else were shed in pray’r;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 47 No happier task these faded eyes pursue;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 48 To read and weep is all they now can do.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 49¬¬¬¬¬¬Then share thy pain, allow that sad relief;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 50 Ah, more than share it! give me all thy grief.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 51 Heav’n first taught letters for some wretch’s aid,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 52 Some banish’d lover, or some captive maid;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 53 They live, they speak, they breathe what love inspires,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 54 Warm from the soul, and faithful to its fires,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 55 The virgin’s wish without her fears impart,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 56 Excuse the blush, and pour out all the heart,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 57 Speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 58 And waft a sigh from Indus to the Pole.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 59¬¬¬¬¬¬Thou know’st how guiltless first I met thy flame,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 60 When Love approach’d me under Friendship’s name;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 61 My fancy form’d thee of angelic kind,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 62 Some emanation of th’ all-beauteous Mind.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 63 Those smiling eyes, attemp’ring ev’ry day,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 64 Shone sweetly lambent with celestial day.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 65 Guiltless I gaz’d; heav’n listen’d while you sung;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 66 And truths divine came mended from that tongue.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 67 From lips like those what precept fail’d to move?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 68 Too soon they taught me ’twas no sin to love.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 69 Back through the paths of pleasing sense I ran,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 70 Nor wish’d an Angel whom I lov’d a Man.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 71 Dim and remote the joys of saints I see;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 72 Nor envy them, that heav’n I lose for thee.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 73¬¬¬¬¬¬How oft, when press’d to marriage, have I said,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 74 Curse on all laws but those which love has made!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 75 Love, free as air, at sight of human ties,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 76 Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 77 Let wealth, let honour, wait the wedded dame,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 78 August her deed, and sacred be her fame;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 79 Before true passion all those views remove,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 80 Fame, wealth, and honour! what are you to Love?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 81 The jealous God, when we profane his fires,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 82 Those restless passions in revenge inspires;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 83 And bids them make mistaken mortals groan,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 84 Who seek in love for aught but love alone.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 85 Should at my feet the world’s great master fall,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 86 Himself, his throne, his world, I’d scorn ‘em all:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 87 Not Caesar’s empress would I deign to prove;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 88 No, make me mistress to the man I love;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 89 If there be yet another name more free,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 90 More fond than mistress, make me that to thee!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 91 Oh happy state! when souls each other draw,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 92 When love is liberty, and nature, law:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 93 All then is full, possessing, and possess’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 94 No craving void left aching in the breast:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 95 Ev’n thought meets thought, ere from the lips it part,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 96 And each warm wish springs mutual from the heart.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 97 This sure is bliss (if bliss on earth there be)
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 98 And once the lot of Abelard and me.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 99¬¬¬¬¬¬Alas, how chang’d! what sudden horrors rise!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 100 A naked lover bound and bleeding lies!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 101 Where, where was Eloise? her voice, her hand,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 102 Her poniard, had oppos’d the dire command.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 103 Barbarian, stay! that bloody stroke restrain;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 104 The crime was common, common be the pain.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 105 I can no more; by shame, by rage suppress’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 106 Let tears, and burning blushes speak the rest.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 107¬¬¬¬¬Canst thou forget that sad, that solemn day,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 108 When victims at yon altar’s foot we lay?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 109 Canst thou forget what tears that moment fell,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 110 When, warm in youth, I bade the world farewell?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 111 As with cold lips I kiss’d the sacred veil,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 112 The shrines all trembl’d, and the lamps grew pale:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 113 Heav’n scarce believ’d the conquest it survey’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 114 And saints with wonder heard the vows I made.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 115 Yet then, to those dread altars as I drew,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 116 Not on the Cross my eyes were fix’d, but you:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 117 Not grace, or zeal, love only was my call,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 118 And if I lose thy love, I lose my all.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 119 Come! with thy looks, thy words, relieve my woe;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 120 Those still at least are left thee to bestow.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 121 Still on that breast enamour’d let me lie,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 122 Still drink delicious poison from thy eye,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 123 Pant on thy lip, and to thy heart be press’d;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 124 Give all thou canst–and let me dream the rest.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 125 Ah no! instruct me other joys to prize,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 126 With other beauties charm my partial eyes,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 127 Full in my view set all the bright abode,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 128 And make my soul quit Abelard for God.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 129¬¬¬¬¬Ah, think at least thy flock deserves thy care,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 130 Plants of thy hand, and children of thy pray’r.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 131 From the false world in early youth they fled,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 132 By thee to mountains, wilds, and deserts led.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 133 You rais’d these hallow’d walls; the desert smil’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 134 And Paradise was open’d in the wild.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 135 No weeping orphan saw his father’s stores
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 136 Our shrines irradiate, or emblaze the floors;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 137 No silver saints, by dying misers giv’n,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 138 Here brib’d the rage of ill-requited heav’n:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 139 But such plain roofs as piety could raise,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 140 And only vocal with the Maker’s praise.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 141 In these lone walls (their days eternal bound)
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 142 These moss-grown domes with spiry turrets crown’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 143 Where awful arches make a noonday night,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 144 And the dim windows shed a solemn light;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 145 Thy eyes diffus’d a reconciling ray,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 146 And gleams of glory brighten’d all the day.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 147 But now no face divine contentment wears,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 148 ‘Tis all blank sadness, or continual tears.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 149 See how the force of others’ pray’rs I try,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 150 (O pious fraud of am’rous charity!)
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 151 But why should I on others’ pray’rs depend?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 152 Come thou, my father, brother, husband, friend!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 153 Ah let thy handmaid, sister, daughter move,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 154 And all those tender names in one, thy love!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 155 The darksome pines that o’er yon rocks reclin’d
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 156 Wave high, and murmur to the hollow wind,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 157 The wand’ring streams that shine between the hills,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 158 The grots that echo to the tinkling rills,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 159 The dying gales that pant upon the trees,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 160 The lakes that quiver to the curling breeze;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 161 No more these scenes my meditation aid,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 162 Or lull to rest the visionary maid.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 163 But o’er the twilight groves and dusky caves,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 164 Long-sounding aisles, and intermingled graves,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 165 Black Melancholy sits, and round her throws
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 166 A death-like silence, and a dread repose:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 167 Her gloomy presence saddens all the scene,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 168 Shades ev’ry flow’r, and darkens ev’ry green,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 169 Deepens the murmur of the falling floods,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 170 And breathes a browner horror on the woods.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 171¬¬¬¬¬Yet here for ever, ever must I stay;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 172 Sad proof how well a lover can obey!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 173 Death, only death, can break the lasting chain;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 174 And here, ev’n then, shall my cold dust remain,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 175 Here all its frailties, all its flames resign,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 176 And wait till ’tis no sin to mix with thine.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 177¬¬¬¬¬Ah wretch! believ’d the spouse of God in vain,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 178 Confess’d within the slave of love and man.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 179 Assist me, Heav’n! but whence arose that pray’r?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 180 Sprung it from piety, or from despair?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 181 Ev’n here, where frozen chastity retires,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 182 Love finds an altar for forbidden fires.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 183 I ought to grieve, but cannot what I ought;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 184 I mourn the lover, not lament the fault;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 185 I view my crime, but kindle at the view,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 186 Repent old pleasures, and solicit new;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 187 Now turn’d to Heav’n, I weep my past offence,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 188 Now think of thee, and curse my innocence.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 189 Of all affliction taught a lover yet,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 190 ‘Tis sure the hardest science to forget!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 191 How shall I lose the sin, yet keep the sense,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 192 And love th’ offender, yet detest th’ offence?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 193 How the dear object from the crime remove,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 194 Or how distinguish penitence from love?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 195 Unequal task! a passion to resign,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 196 For hearts so touch’d, so pierc’d, so lost as mine.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 197 Ere such a soul regains its peaceful state,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 198 How often must it love, how often hate!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 199 How often hope, despair, resent, regret,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 200 Conceal, disdain–do all things but forget.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 201 But let Heav’n seize it, all at once ’tis fir’d;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 202 Not touch’d, but rapt; not waken’d, but inspir’d!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 203 Oh come! oh teach me nature to subdue,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 204 Renounce my love, my life, myself–and you.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 205 Fill my fond heart with God alone, for he
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 206 Alone can rival, can succeed to thee.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 207¬¬¬¬¬How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 208 The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 209 Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 210 Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 211 Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 212 “Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;”
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 213 Desires compos’d, affections ever ev’n,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 214 Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav’n.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 215 Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 216 And whisp’ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 217 For her th’ unfading rose of Eden blooms,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 218 And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 219 For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 220 For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 221 To sounds of heav’nly harps she dies away,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 222 And melts in visions of eternal day.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 223¬¬¬¬¬Far other dreams my erring soul employ,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 224 Far other raptures, of unholy joy:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 225 When at the close of each sad, sorrowing day,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 226 Fancy restores what vengeance snatch’d away,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 227 Then conscience sleeps, and leaving nature free,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 228 All my loose soul unbounded springs to thee.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 229 Oh curs’d, dear horrors of all-conscious night!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 230 How glowing guilt exalts the keen delight!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 231 Provoking Daemons all restraint remove,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 232 And stir within me every source of love.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 233 I hear thee, view thee, gaze o’er all thy charms,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 234 And round thy phantom glue my clasping arms.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 235 I wake–no more I hear, no more I view,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 236 The phantom flies me, as unkind as you.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 237 I call aloud; it hears not what I say;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 238 I stretch my empty arms; it glides away.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 239 To dream once more I close my willing eyes;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 240 Ye soft illusions, dear deceits, arise!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 241 Alas, no more–methinks we wand’ring go
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 242 Through dreary wastes, and weep each other’s woe,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 243 Where round some mould’ring tower pale ivy creeps,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 244 And low-brow’d rocks hang nodding o’er the deeps.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 245 Sudden you mount, you beckon from the skies;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 246 Clouds interpose, waves roar, and winds arise.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 247 I shriek, start up, the same sad prospect find,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 248 And wake to all the griefs I left behind.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 249¬¬¬¬¬For thee the fates, severely kind, ordain
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 250 A cool suspense from pleasure and from pain;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 251 Thy life a long, dead calm of fix’d repose;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 252 No pulse that riots, and no blood that glows.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 253 Still as the sea, ere winds were taught to blow,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 254 Or moving spirit bade the waters flow;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 255 Soft as the slumbers of a saint forgiv’n,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 256 And mild as opening gleams of promis’d heav’n.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 257¬¬¬¬¬Come, Abelard! for what hast thou to dread?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 258 The torch of Venus burns not for the dead.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 259 Nature stands check’d; Religion disapproves;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 260 Ev’n thou art cold–yet Eloisa loves.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 261 Ah hopeless, lasting flames! like those that burn
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 262 To light the dead, and warm th’ unfruitful urn.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 263¬¬¬¬¬What scenes appear where’er I turn my view?
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 264 The dear ideas, where I fly, pursue,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 265 Rise in the grove, before the altar rise,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 266 Stain all my soul, and wanton in my eyes.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 267 I waste the matin lamp in sighs for thee,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 268 Thy image steals between my God and me,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 269 Thy voice I seem in ev’ry hymn to hear,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 270 With ev’ry bead I drop too soft a tear.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 271 When from the censer clouds of fragrance roll,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 272 And swelling organs lift the rising soul,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 273 One thought of thee puts all the pomp to flight,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 274 Priests, tapers, temples, swim before my sight:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 275 In seas of flame my plunging soul is drown’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 276 While altars blaze, and angels tremble round.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 277¬¬¬¬¬While prostrate here in humble grief I lie,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 278 Kind, virtuous drops just gath’ring in my eye,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 279 While praying, trembling, in the dust I roll,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 280 And dawning grace is op’ning on my soul:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 281 Come, if thou dar’st, all charming as thou art!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 282 Oppose thyself to Heav’n; dispute my heart;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 283 Come, with one glance of those deluding eyes
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 284 Blot out each bright idea of the skies;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 285 Take back that grace, those sorrows, and those tears;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 286 Take back my fruitless penitence and pray’rs;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 287 Snatch me, just mounting, from the blest abode;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 288 Assist the fiends, and tear me from my God!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 289¬¬¬¬¬No, fly me, fly me, far as pole from pole;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 290 Rise Alps between us! and whole oceans roll!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 291 Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 292 Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 293 Thy oaths I quit, thy memory resign;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 294 Forget, renounce me, hate whate’er was mine.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 295 Fair eyes, and tempting looks (which yet I view!)
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 296 Long lov’d, ador’d ideas, all adieu!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 297 Oh Grace serene! oh virtue heav’nly fair!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 298 Divine oblivion of low-thoughted care!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 299 Fresh blooming hope, gay daughter of the sky!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 300 And faith, our early immortality!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 301 Enter, each mild, each amicable guest;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 302 Receive, and wrap me in eternal rest!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 303¬¬¬¬¬See in her cell sad Eloisa spread,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 304 Propp’d on some tomb, a neighbour of the dead.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 305 In each low wind methinks a spirit calls,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 306 And more than echoes talk along the walls.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 307 Here, as I watch’d the dying lamps around,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 308 From yonder shrine I heard a hollow sound.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 309 “Come, sister, come!” (it said, or seem’d to say)
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 310 “Thy place is here, sad sister, come away!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 311 Once like thyself, I trembled, wept, and pray’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 312 Love’s victim then, though now a sainted maid:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 313 But all is calm in this eternal sleep;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 314 Here grief forgets to groan, and love to weep,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 315 Ev’n superstition loses ev’ry fear:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 316 For God, not man, absolves our frailties here.”
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 317¬¬¬¬¬I come, I come! prepare your roseate bow’rs,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 318 Celestial palms, and ever-blooming flow’rs.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 319 Thither, where sinners may have rest, I go,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 320 Where flames refin’d in breasts seraphic glow:
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 321 Thou, Abelard! the last sad office pay,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 322 And smooth my passage to the realms of day;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 323 See my lips tremble, and my eye-balls roll,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 324 Suck my last breath, and catch my flying soul!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 325 Ah no–in sacred vestments may’st thou stand,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 326 The hallow’d taper trembling in thy hand,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 327 Present the cross before my lifted eye,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 328 Teach me at once, and learn of me to die.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 329 Ah then, thy once-lov’d Eloisa see!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 330 It will be then no crime to gaze on me.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 331 See from my cheek the transient roses fly!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 332 See the last sparkle languish in my eye!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 333 Till ev’ry motion, pulse, and breath be o’er;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 334 And ev’n my Abelard be lov’d no more.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 335 O Death all-eloquent! you only prove
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 336 What dust we dote on, when ’tis man we love.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 337¬¬¬¬¬Then too, when fate shall thy fair frame destroy,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 338 (That cause of all my guilt, and all my joy)
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 339¬ In trance ecstatic may thy pangs be drown’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 340 Bright clouds descend, and angels watch thee round,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 341 From op’ning skies may streaming glories shine,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 342 And saints embrace thee with a love like mine.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 343¬¬¬¬¬May one kind grave unite each hapless name,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 344¬ And graft my love immortal on thy fame!
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 345¬ Then, ages hence, when all my woes are o’er,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 346 When this rebellious heart shall beat no more;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 347 If ever chance two wand’ring lovers brings
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 348 To Paraclete’s white walls and silver springs,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 349 O’er the pale marble shall they join their heads,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 350 And drink the falling tears each other sheds;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 351 Then sadly say, with mutual pity mov’d,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 352 “Oh may we never love as these have lov’d!”
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 353 From the full choir when loud Hosannas rise,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 354 And swell the pomp of dreadful sacrifice,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 355 Amid that scene if some relenting eye
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 356 Glance on the stone where our cold relics lie,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 357 Devotion’s self shall steal a thought from Heav’n,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 358 One human tear shall drop and be forgiv’n.
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 359 And sure, if fate some future bard shall join
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 360 In sad similitude of griefs to mine,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 361 Condemn’d whole years in absence to deplore,
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 362 And image charms he must behold no more;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 363 Such if there be, who loves so long, so well;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 364 Let him our sad, our tender story tell;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 365 The well-sung woes will soothe my pensive ghost;
¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 366 He best can paint ‘em, who shall feel ‘em most.
